Playing the piano and singing are a couple of my favourite ways to feel things. I tend to be a very controlled and calm person. Internally, I feel things very deeply. I think that because I don't naturally express my feelings, music can become a way of emoting and dealing with emotions. Especially pain.
No one has a perfect life. This I know for sure. Life can be very hard and sometimes feel unfair. This was a difficult week. Sometimes being the parent of a special needs child can feel very lonely and heavy. It is something that is hard to explain to anyone who has not had the experience first hand. I also think that being the parent of a special needs child can be extremely joyful. Every successful proud moment is magnified times a million. Amazing. I am grateful for everything that I get to experience. I feel alive.
Since I was having a particularly emotional time, I decided to record myself playing one of my favourite pieces. No one composed feelings to page quite like Chopin (except maybe Puccini). I adore playing Chopin. The recording was done in one take, and is not perfect. When listening back I heard a couple wrong notes, but I also heard pain, joy, peace, love, acceptance, and hope. A very wise younger sister of mine has taught me that art does not have to be perfect. Just go for it. Play, sing, paint, dance, draw, and live your life to the fullest.